• By  Aima Abid    02-Dec-2022 
•   466

Socializing online has significant advantages and disadvantages. Teens miss out on things like facial expressions and body language.

Teens who text and use social media are more anxious and have lower self-esteem. Socializing online has significant advantages and disadvantages. Teens miss out on things like facial expressions and body language.
Misunderstandings and hurt feelings can result from this. Additionally, it may make face-to-face conversation appear more intimidating.When kids see how perfect everyone else looks online, it's also common for them to feel bad about themselves.

Teens frequently attempt to compensate by sharing photos of themselves that make them appear flawless. Then, if their online persona doesn't match up with how they really feel, they might end up feeling worse.
Setting a good example of how to use technology can be helpful for parents. When you are with your children, you should make an effort to give them your full attention. You should also create tech-free areas in the house and hours when no one is on their phones.

Engage children in activities they are interested in to boost their self-esteem. Kids are happier when they learn to focus on what they can accomplish rather than how they look or what they own.
Any parents are concerned about how toddlers' development might be affected by technology exposure. We know that our preschoolers are developing new social and cognitive skills at an incredible rate, and we don't want them to spend hours glued to an iPad.

But adolescence is just as important because it is a time of rapid development, and too few of us are paying attention to how our teenagers' use of technology is affecting them. This use of technology is much more intense and personal than when a 3-year-old plays with their dad's iPhone.

In fact, experts are concerned that the constant use of social media and text messages by teenagers is making them more anxious and lowering their sense of self-worth.
According to young people, there might be good reasons to be concerned. The Royal Society for Public Health surveyed UK teenagers aged 14 to 24 to find out how social media platforms affected their health and well-being.
According to the findings of the survey, using Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all increased feelings of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and loneliness.

Teens are masters at using indirect communication to keep themselves occupied after school and well into the night. They are online and on their phones, texting, sharing, trolling, scrolling—you name it—when they are not doing their homework—and when they are.

Teens did, of course, keep themselves occupied before everyone had an Instagram account, but they were more likely to talk on the phone or in person when they were at the mall.
Although it might have appeared to be a lot of aimless sitting around, what they were actually doing was trying new skills, experimenting, and having a lot of tiny real-time interactions—something that today's children are missing out on.

One example is that today's teens are learning to communicate primarily via screen rather than face-to-face.

According to clinical psychologist and author of The Big Disconnect, Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, "as a species we are very highly attuned to reading social cues. "There is no doubt that children are not developing very important social skills.

Even though texting and online communication don't cause a nonverbal learning disability, they do put everyone in a nonverbal disabled situation where body language, facial expression, and even the tiniest kinds of vocal reactions are rendered invisible. In a way, texting and online communication do both of these things.
Risk reduction
 Certain indirect communication obstructs clear communication, but that's not all. Growing up is a big part of learning how to make friends, and making friends requires taking some risks.
This holds true for both establishing new friendships and maintaining existing ones.It takes courage to be open about one's feelings and then listen to what the other person has to say when confronting problems, big or small.

Part of what makes friendship fun, exciting, and also scary is learning how to cross these barriers. Dr. Steiner-Adair explains, "Knowing how to say what you think and feel, even when you disagree with other people or it feels emotionally risky, is part of healthy self-esteem."

However, when kids form friendships via text or online, they do so without access to many of the most intimate and, at times, intimidating aspects of communication.
It's simpler to stay on high alert when you're messaging, so less is in question. The impact your words are having on the other person is invisible to you. Each party may require additional time to consider a response because the conversation is not taking place in real time.

It's no wonder kids say it's "too intense" to call someone because it requires more direct communication, which can be scary if you're not used to it.
Many kids will become adults who are concerned about our species' primary means of communication—talking—if they don't get enough practice relating to people and meeting their needs in person.

Naturally, as people get older and begin to navigate romantic relationships and employment, social negotiations only become more risky.

Imposter syndrome and cyberbullying 

Another major risk posed by children communicating more indirectly is that it has become easier to be cruel. According to clinical and developmental psychologist Donna Wick, EdD, "kids text all sorts of things that you would never in a million years consider saying to anyone's face."
She makes the observation that this seems to be especially true for girls, who typically dislike disagreeing with one another in "real life."

“You hope to teach them to disagree without endangering the relationship; however, what social media is teaching them to disagree in is more extreme disagreement that does endanger the relationship. She says, "It's exactly what you don't want to happen."

Dr. Steiner-Adair concurs that girls are especially vulnerable. Girls, in particular, are socialized to develop their identities by comparing themselves to other people, making them more susceptible to the negative effects of all of this.

She warns that low self-esteem is frequently to blame. We overlook the fact that insecurity, a negative self-perception, and a desire to denigrate others are the root causes of relational aggression.

Adolescents care about their image as much as a politician running for office, and it can feel as serious to them. Peer acceptance is a big deal to them.
In addition, kids today are getting actual polling data on how much people like them or how they look, such as "likes. "It's enough to make anyone think twice. Who wouldn't want to look cooler if they could? As a result, children can spend hours trying to project an idealized image through their online identities.

Teenage girls agonize over which of hundreds of photos to share online. In the already unrestrained online environment, boys compete for attention by trying to outgrows one another and pushing the boundaries as much as possible. Children converge on one another.

This has always been done by adolescents, but the rise of social media has presented them with more opportunities—as well as more dangers—than ever before. The pressure only gets worse for kids when they scroll through their social media feeds and see how great everyone looks.

We are accustomed to being concerned about the unrealistic ideals that photoshopped magazine models instill in our children; however, what happens when the child next door is also photoshopped?
Much seriously confounding, shouldn't something be said about when your own profile doesn't actually address the individual that you feel like you are within?
According to Dr. Wick, "you are acutely aware of the contrasts between who you appear to be and who you think you are" during "adolescence and the early twenties in particular. "It is comparable to the psychological "imposter syndrome."

You begin to realize that you are actually good at some things as you get older and gain more mastery, and you then hope to see that gap close. However, imagine if your deepest, darkest fear was that you weren't as good as you look, and then imagine if you had to always look that good! It's debilitating."

"Self-esteem comes from consolidating who you are," Dr. Steiner-Adair says. It will be harder to feel good about yourself the more identities you have and the more time you spend pretending to be someone else.

Stalking and being ignored 

Another significant change brought about by new technology, particularly smart phones, is the realization that we are never truly alone. Kids update their status, share what they're watching, paying attention to, and perusing, and have applications that let their companions in on their particular area on a guide consistently.

A person is always accessible via text message, even if he isn't trying to update his friends. As a result, children experience a high degree of social connectivity. The conversation never has to end, and it always feels like something new is going on.

Dr. Wick writes, "Kids never get a break from the ‘relationships' maintained and in some cases initiated on social media. "And anxiety can result from that alone.
A break from the demands of intimacy and connection is necessary for everyone; alone time to regroup, refuel, and unwind. When you don't have that, it's easy to feel empty emotionally, which makes it easy for anxiety to grow.

In the midst of all that hype connection, it is also surprising simple to experience feelings of loneliness. First of all, children are now able to depressingly predict when they are being ignored.
When you are waiting for a response that does not arrive, the silence can be deafening because we all have phones and respond to messages fairly quickly. The silent treatment could be a deliberate insult, or it could just be a bad side effect of an intense online relationship between teenagers that ends.

“In the past, if a boy wanted to break up with you, he had to talk to you first. Or, at the very least, he had to call,” Dr. Wick claims. He might just vanish from your screen these days, and you never get to ask, "What did I do? "conversation. ”Frequently, children are left to imagine the worst of themselves.

Being in a state of constant waiting, on the other hand, can still cause anxiety even when the conversation does not come to an end. Our very human need to communicate is also effectively delegated there, and we can feel like we are being put on the back burner along with others.

What can be done by parents?

The best thing parents can do to reduce the risks associated with technology is to reduce their own use first, according to both experts interviewed for this article. Parents have a responsibility to model responsible computer use for their children. Either out of genuine interest or out of nervous habit, the majority of us check our phones or email excessively.

Children ought to be accustomed to seeing our countenances, not our heads twisted around a screen. Establish times of the day and night when no one, including mom and dad, uses technology in the house. Dr. Steiner-Adair offers the following advice: "Don't walk in the door after work in the middle of a conversation. "Try not to stroll in that frame of mind after work, say 'hello there' rapidly, and afterward 'simply browse your email.'

Check your email when you wake up an hour earlier than your kids do. Keep your full attention on them until they leave. Additionally, since this is an important time to talk, neither of you should use your phones while driving to or from school.

Limiting time spent plugged in to computers not only provides a healthy counterpoint to the tech-obsessed world, but it also strengthens the bond between parents and children and makes them feel more secure.

Kids need to be aware that you are available to assist them with their issues, talk about their day, or provide them with a reality check.

According to Dr. Steiner-Adair's warning, "it is the mini-moments of disconnection, when parents are too focused on their own devices and screens, that dilute the parent-child relationship. "And you might not like what happens when your kids start using the Internet for support or to process the day. Dr. Steiner-Adair says that technology can give your children more information than you can, but it doesn't share your values. It won't respond to your child's question in a way that is developmentally appropriate, and it won't be sensitive to your child's personality."

Furthermore, Dr. Wick recommends putting off the age of first use as much as possible. When I talk about kids and alcohol, I always say, "Dr. Wick advises that if your child uses Facebook, you should be her friend and keep an eye on her page.

However, she cautions against reading text messages unless there is a reason to be concerned. Okay, if you have a reason to be concerned, that's fine, but it has to be a valid one. I see parents simply eavesdropping on their children.

Trusting one's children is the first step for parents. It is extremely damaging to the relationship to refuse to even give your child the benefit of the doubt. You need to feel like your folks believe you're a decent youngster."

Getting kids involved in something they are interested in is the gold standard for helping them develop healthy self-esteem offline.

It could be sports, music, disassembling computers, volunteering, or anything else that piques their interest and inspires confidence. Kids are happier and better prepared for success in real life when they learn to focus on what they can do rather than how they look or what they own. The fact that the majority of these activities also involve face-to-face interaction with peers is just the cherry on top.
 

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